A post with no point.

I have a bunch of things to say. I wish I could just let it all out without any consequence, without any one reading thinking that I am just "over thinking" or "over reacting" or "just saying things....".

Truth is, if I spit it all out on this open page right now by the time you were all done reading I bet you wouldn't even understand the words. They would all jumble together like a big mess and you would be left questioning what I was even trying to say in the first place- I would probably feel better though. I always do after I do a big word dump. I guess that's what this is all about any way so I suppose I will keep going.  Just be prepared, there is no REAL point to this post, and I can't REALLY say much because there is a lot that that's happening that is private...so if I leave you wondering what the point was, I'm sorry, but don't say I didn't warn you. 

When "they" say having a baby is life changing "they" weren't lying! NOTHING is the same anymore. NOTHING. The way you plan your days, your weeks, your months...your entire future. Your thinking changes. Your priorities change. And the thing is, it happens so natuarally  and organically that you don't even realize it is happening and all of a sudden changes are being made....

...I want to talk about the amazing miracle that is my daughter. I never knew the amazingness that would be a baby. I knew I wanted to be a mommy, I knew I would love my cute little babe. I did NOT know however, that I would want to spend my days snuggled in bed just giving kisses, I didn't know that I would just want to keep my nose in the crink of her neck taking in that beautiful baby smell. I also didn't know the amount of sleep I would not be getting....and still being required to be nice to other human beings the following day at work. This last week alone I think I got 6 hours of sleep TOTAL. Yeah, it kind of (BIG TIME) sucked. She's teething, she's scratching (poor babe has eczema) and generally pretty cranky this week so she's not sleeping. The last two nights have been much better so we might be over that hump...WE'LL SEE....and we'll pray. Lots and lots of prayers. Bottom line...Abigail is the most precious little human that I have ever laid my eyes upon and at the end of the day if she wants to stay up all night and needs a buddy to do it with her...I will be that buddy!

Life has been pretty nuts these last few months- it has gone very VERY quickly and I am very excited for the future. 

The baby is stirring.....off I go! 

Time Flies

Abigail is already creeping up to a month old.... how is that even possible? Time is moving so incredibly fast. The days are being eaten up by cuddles and kisses (and uncontrollable crying and an endless number of poopy diapers) that they just seem to whiz by without me even being able to get basic stuff done (who needs clean clothes or dishes anyway?)

I understand that I will NEVER get these first few days and weeks with her again, so while I am exhausted, covered in spit up and frustrated because she just can't tell me what is wrong when she is crying I am enjoying this time.

Here are a few pictures of her because I know everyone wants to see her in all her cuteness!!

No Words

Since about 28 weeks or so I started obsessing about the birth- this little person had been growing safely inside me for about 7 months and it really started to dawn on me that she was going to have to come out....one way or another. Much to my husbands dismay I read many, many blogs on-line about "what to expect" for labor and delivery and post partum. There was going to be pain, there was going to be blood, there was going to be tears. I have learned that no matter how much you read, or ask your friends that have already been through it, nothing can really prepare you for the wild and incredible experience that bringing another human being into the world actually is.

Baby Abigail was due to enter the world on April 8th- my family was certain she would make her grand entrance on the 1st of April. March 31st was upon us and I was pretty sure they were all wrong since there were no signs of labor in sight. I went to bed at my normal 80 year old grandma time of 8:30 (hey...I had been nesting and I was 9 months pregnant....I was tired!) and I woke up at 2:30am (on April 1st) with my very first contraction. Yep, it hurt but it wasn't overwhelming but it was enough to get me up and walking around. It quickly past and back to bed I went.....

I had a previously scheduled appointment for the first of April so I went and got checked, sure enough my body was getting ready to have a baby! I was having contractions all day (nothing consistent and nothing too painful but they were definite contractions!)

Friday came and went, and I was up all night contracting.....I called Labor and Delivery, because that is the thing to do, right? And they said wait it out until they are consistent. Dangit! They weren't consistent but they were painful!!!

Sooo....fast forward to Saturday evening when the family came and brought us preggo pizza from Skippolini's. I was already tired because I had been in bed all day having pretty decent contractions. Well...as I was saying goodbye to them I had a serious contraction and my water broke! Off to the hospital we went.

Since I was not actively laboring yet, (even though I felt like I have been!) they gave me the option to go home and come back no more than 24 hours later (they don't want to risk infection) or when I started having consistent contractions or stay put and they would start inducing. I decided I would rather be comfortable at home, so we went back home. That didn't last long- around 2:30am my contractions had finally become consistent and pretty dang painful so we went BACK TO THE HOSPITAL and I was officially in "active labor". They gave me pain meds (no epi yet, at this point I thought I was going to hang tough) and we slept.

I labored all day Sunday (April 3rd) and finally that afternoon got my epidural.  When they gave it to me my heart rate dropped to a scary level low so I was really reluctant to press the little button that would continue to give me the medicine (those that know me, know that I don't do medicine/pills/ drugs very well) I didn't feel a lot of pain, but I felt a lot of pressure....TONS of PRESSURE....finally my husband talked me into pressing my  medicine button and managing my pain better.

It was now Monday (April 4th) morning and I was STILL LABORING...but it was getting close. The midwife came in and told me that the baby was much larger than they thought originally that the highway that the baby was to take to come into the world was small a c-section might be in order. It wasn't ideal but whatever needed to happen to get her out safely I was okay with.

At noon on Monday April 4th it was finally time to push. THANK GOD! Well I pushed, and pushed and pushed for almost 3 hours I pushed. Abigail was coming and I could feel her...I was also acutely aware of the room filling up with medical professionals and the nurses yelling at me telling me no more rests during pushes...just push. I was so exhausted and out of it, but I am good at following directions. I pushed. And I heard the nurse calling a code....and I panicked. There were so many people in my room in a matter of minutes I didn't really know what was happening. All of a sudden my baby was out....she was placed on my chest for a half a second and then swept away. I panicked again....asking my husband what was happening...He didn't know yet..but we heard her cry and eventually they called him over to cut the cord.
Turns out Abigail's shoulder was stuck on my pelvic bone on her way out and the cord was wrapped around her neck (if she hadn't been stuck that wouldn't have been a huge deal) they called a code for a doctor to come in and break my baby girls shoulder if they couldn't get her out. With Abigails resilience and my pushing she was able to get out without any breaking of bones.

I was exhausted and overwhelmed- but I was in love. In love with my husband that did not leave my side the entire time and with my beautiful baby girl, that took a big beating on the way out. But she is here and she is wonderful.

So, that's our story. It's a lot of words but none of them REALLY say exactly what happened- because no words can really express the feelings that you have when your baby enters the world.

Piece of cake anyone?

They say you can have anything in life, you will just have to sacrifice everything else to get it.

Do some people really "have it all?" A fit body, a thriving career, an awesome family life and a clean kitchen to boot? If you are one of those people....

PLEASE RAISE YOUR HAND....

and tell me how in the world you do it!?!?! I have come to realize that to fully go after something other things must be sacrificed. You want to be fit and healthy, maybe your social life might suffer because you can't go out with your friends as much. You want an amazing career? Maybe your relationship with your spouse might suffer because you are always working (or the brain is always on your work) You want something bad enough and you put your whole head and heart into it...other things are bound to suffer.....right?

I want to prove "them" wrong. I do want it all. And I don't want to have to give anything up.  We were meant to have our cake and EAT IT TOO (because DUH....what good is cake if we can't eat it!?)  I have been reading the good Book lately and it tells me to have God like dreams...I trust that He will lead me to where I need to be, and whatever trials, challenges, and speed bumps I run into on my way I will overcome. I know it. I feel it.



So, I guess this comes around again to having anything you want in this life, and I say, go for everything  (not just ANYTHING) with your whole heart. Don't give anything up, and certainly don't give in.



Let's do it together.

A little of this, a little of that, a little of life.

Well, it's been a while hasn't it?

I can't say that it has been the same ol' same ol' over here because, well it hasn't! Since the last time I have entered into this little blog I have so much has changed!
For those that are in my inner most circle know that within the last years I have moved, got a promo, got engaged, and got married.
Here's proof that I am a married woman now:

We're cute, right???

The last year or so  I took a big bite outta life, and while I am not discouraging that AT ALL, I AM encouraging one to really think about how much they can really handle and be SUCCESSFUL at, all at once. The problem that I started running into was that while I was doing OKAY in all these areas of my life that I was trying to excel at, I wasn't excelling at all....I was getting by. I was burning myself out trying to get everything perfect while not even achieving GOOD. You don't realize that it's happening at first until something happens, something forces you to look at what you are really doing and what you are putting first in your life. It might not be pretty to look at. It is worth it, to take a real hard look at what is happening and why things seem OFF.

I had to go to the doctor because something was wrong, and I don't like the doctor. Not because they poke and prod you. But they can find something that could change your life forever, I have had doctors tell me things like that about 2 3/4 years ago when a very good doctor told us the mom we knew and loved wasn't going to make it. Doctors scare me. I also know from my experience that if you put something off it is not going to get better on it's own. You have to take steps, you have to be active in the improvement of whatever is off.  So I went to the doctor....

Don't worry, I am not about to tell you I have some disease or anything like that. I don't...I am basically fine. BUT it was a wake up call, I am not doing what I want to do. I don't mean I don't like my job or where I live but I am not doing HOW I want to do in those areas. I've taken on too much, I am trying to get things done too quickly. I became overwhelmed with all the good things in my life and my desire to add more good things right away made it all kind of blow up in my face. 

My husband is a genius, don't tell him I said that, he already has a big head. But he has always said to live your day DELIBERATELY, and I haven't been doing that. But it changes today (well, it actually changed on Friday after I came back from a really, really AMAZING 2 day conference I attended) and I have changed a few things, and taken a few things off my plate and put something BACK on that I have been letting slide for FAR TOO LONG which is my health. I am prioritizing, making plans and setting goals (something I haven't done since I have moved back to NorCal). It's crazy how far you let yourself go until something has to go wrong to even wake you up. It happens very quickly. 

It's not just bad things that can shake you up, it's all the good things too. So much has happened and so much more is about to change. It's a weird place you can find yourself in, realizing things that you were hoping and wishing for a year and a half ago, and now all of a sudden they are actually happening. Doesn't mean you can check out, you still need to show up and work at things that are important to you but  don't stress the other stuff, focus in on what really matters..... 

I am going to show up everyday for my family, my fitness, my career, and make it all successful. I will do it because I am meant to, but I have to understand it is not in my hands, it is in His and it will all come together like it is meant to. 

***Trust in the Lord, and Do Good***

Why I Chose BeachBody

As a kid I remember my mom starting and stopping several Multi-Level Marketing companies. It always looked fun, and the promises were always so big. Look what you can get if you sell 100 candles, or 300 spatulas! WOW! (There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.) Once I was old enough I started doing it too, tried my hand with AVON, had a blast, for a little while. Then I moved onto Partylite, while that was FUN too, I eventually petered out of that too, kind of just following in my moms footsteps. Nothing ever really CLICKED with me. I was in and out of these companies before you can even say Multi level marketing. I stayed away from direct sales for  several, years. Until I came across Beachbody. Even when I first heard about the coaching opportunity I didn't really think it would be for me. But then I started thinking about how much fun I would have running challenge groups, how much fun I would have talking to people about their goals... A LOT OF FUN WAS TO BE HAD. 

 Beach Body is a whole lot more than selling Shakeology. It's even more than selling workout programs put together by celebrity trainers. It's sole mission is to end the trend of obesity. I can't tell you enough how much that resonates with me, it sticks with me. 

It is so much more than just selling to me, it's about providing an opportunity for someone to find their way...their way to happiness and their way with health. And for those of you that know me, know how very personal that is. 

I'm still finding my way, and on this way I have discovered so much about myself, that I never even knew existed. I have found a path, and it may still have obstacles, it may still be rough at times, I know where I am headed...

I am so Thankful for Beach Body, even though our relationship is still in the honeymoon phase, it is the longest relationship I've had with Direct Sales, because it IS not just about selling. It has a purpose, a real meaning and a real goal...that I can really stand behind and believe in. 

I was afraid to start, I didn't think I was ready, but here I am, 6 months later, still going,  there is so much to learn, and I am on my way...and I am so excited! 

Absolute

There are some absolute truths that I have learned in my short time here on earth. I will share some with you now:


1. Money, in fact, doesn't grow on trees. You have to earn it. You have to work for it. And lots of it. Things are DAMN EXPENSIVE.


2. Life is not fair. Bad things are going to happen to good people and good things are going to happen to bad people. We just have to get over it.


3. Everyone dies. Yep, it's true. Even those that we think are made of steel, and invincible, at some point are going to pass on. It's true when "they" say "Life: No one get's out of it alive."


4. We are all going to face tragedy once or twice in our lives. It stinks, but it happens. Another thing I've learned about this? It is so much easier to go through those bad things when we have someone, or some people that help us through it. That don't walk away when we turn into ugly people after something bad has happened. They stick around and help us through it, even if the only help they can offer is to be there.


5. There is such thing as True. Unconditional. Love. For your family, (whether it be blood, or the family you have chosen) For your romantic partner, for your friends. You can find those people out there that love the crap outta you. No matter what. (I'm lucky enough to have found some myself)


Another thing that I have learned?


6. When you are trying to figure out the "Next Step" in your life, you are not going to get a big, obvious sign from God, or any other higher power telling you what to do. You have to pay attention to the little things that are happening all around you. There are little signs and little things that will tell you that you are going in the right (or wrong) direction...


...I just wish I could see some of those right now, cuz I sure could use some signs.......