Repeat

3 Steps to make your dreams come true:

1. Get out of your own head.
We are all our own worst critics, right? We all have serious doubts that we can do "it". We can come up with a million excuses as to why we cannot do whatever it is we want to do. Talk to yourself more than you listen to yourself. Believe you can do it. 
2.Start- just start. Start small, do something every day that is going to get you closer to your goal, closer to making your dreams come true.
3. Repeat steps 1 and 2....for the rest of your life.

I am not writing this because I am some know it all that has made all my dreams come true already. I am writing it for ME. I need to read these words just as much as ya'll do.

Step 1, Step 2....repeat.

How Do You Do It?

One day you just wake up and realize you are sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Your clothes don't fit, your skin is looking about 30 years older than you are, you're feeling physically TIRED and emotionally EMPTY. What is it that you can do? It stops today. You have been hearing about this way of eating and to be honest it sounds nutso and completely ridiculous. But you do it.

You eat chicken, steak, vegetables and a crap ton of cheese. No more pizza nights, instead you eat lettuce wrapped tacos. No more burger runs, instead you eat steak and asparagus. It is so much easier that you imagined. And your clothes are starting to fit better. You are starting to glow. You keep going, You are not even TEMPTED by the Halloween candy. Treats brought into the center don't bother you at all. You are ON FIRE, unstoppable and you have never felt better.

Turns out you CAN do it. Turns out you are not destined to live a life of "I wish I was thinner" or "I wish I could fit into those pants".

All you have to do is start. All you have to do is believe in yourself. All you have to do is stop talking about it and start doing it. All you have to do is....IT. THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT.

It's All Happening

It seems I am not keeping up with this blog as much as I want. Every time I sit down to write it seems like a whole life has passed.

I am not going to go into details over what has happened in the last year and a half, because a CRAP TON of stuff has happened.

My baby turned 1....and then she turned 2.  And since then she has grown into a wild, smart, precious little toddler whose favorite things to do is TALK, read books, collect stuffed animals and give them all kisses. She is an animal LOVER.  She has some other amazing qualities- but that would take up this entire blog post- and while she really is my favorite subject to talk about I have other things to say too.


I went back to school, started reading regularly, lost weight, and am gaining a new sense of self.

On September 19th 2017 I started a new way of eating. I stopped eating SUGAR and I stopped eating GRAINS....and guess what? It has worked! I found something that has worked for ME. I am down approx. 50 pounds and I feel great. I am not one of those people that is going to tell you that carbs are the devil, don't eat this or don't eat that. I just want to share what has worked for me. Maybe it will help you too?

#NSNG (no sugar, no grains) has helped me and my relationship with food. Do I still have cravings for sugary foods? Yep! Do I give in? Sometimes. I have learned to keep treats as treats. I regularly feed my body what it needs. I have become pretty passionate about this lifestyle and I am going to share lots and lots about it.

Here are some *BEFORE* photos. These were taken probably about a month before I started NSNG. At my highest weight, feeling pretty terrible about myself. Every picture that was taken of me, I cringed at. I hated buying new clothes but I hated trying to squeeze in my old ones even worse. I want to say I was happy though, my day to day life it was still pretty great. We ordered pizza at least once a week, take out Chinese food and frozen yogurt at least once a week and other high fat/high sugar/carb meals. We were just fine...until we weren't. One day we just decided to change the way we eat...meat and vegeatables (and cheese for me!). And poof. Everything changed. 

 Here are some *DURING* photos (because my journey is not over!). I feel so good in my body, I feel so good being an active parent to my little one. I feel so happy and confident that when we're ready for a brother or sister for Abigail I will have a healthy pregnancy because I am healthy. This is the way I eat now, and I am so happy about this. I have a few goals that I want to hit before my one year NSNG anniversary in September. Like I said, I will be diving deep into all of this in this blog, just not in this post. I just want to put it out there that it IS possible! You just have to make it, your goals and YOURSELF a priority.

A post with no point.

I have a bunch of things to say. I wish I could just let it all out without any consequence, without any one reading thinking that I am just "over thinking" or "over reacting" or "just saying things....".

Truth is, if I spit it all out on this open page right now by the time you were all done reading I bet you wouldn't even understand the words. They would all jumble together like a big mess and you would be left questioning what I was even trying to say in the first place- I would probably feel better though. I always do after I do a big word dump. I guess that's what this is all about any way so I suppose I will keep going.  Just be prepared, there is no REAL point to this post, and I can't REALLY say much because there is a lot that that's happening that is private...so if I leave you wondering what the point was, I'm sorry, but don't say I didn't warn you. 

When "they" say having a baby is life changing "they" weren't lying! NOTHING is the same anymore. NOTHING. The way you plan your days, your weeks, your months...your entire future. Your thinking changes. Your priorities change. And the thing is, it happens so natuarally  and organically that you don't even realize it is happening and all of a sudden changes are being made....

...I want to talk about the amazing miracle that is my daughter. I never knew the amazingness that would be a baby. I knew I wanted to be a mommy, I knew I would love my cute little babe. I did NOT know however, that I would want to spend my days snuggled in bed just giving kisses, I didn't know that I would just want to keep my nose in the crink of her neck taking in that beautiful baby smell. I also didn't know the amount of sleep I would not be getting....and still being required to be nice to other human beings the following day at work. This last week alone I think I got 6 hours of sleep TOTAL. Yeah, it kind of (BIG TIME) sucked. She's teething, she's scratching (poor babe has eczema) and generally pretty cranky this week so she's not sleeping. The last two nights have been much better so we might be over that hump...WE'LL SEE....and we'll pray. Lots and lots of prayers. Bottom line...Abigail is the most precious little human that I have ever laid my eyes upon and at the end of the day if she wants to stay up all night and needs a buddy to do it with her...I will be that buddy!

Life has been pretty nuts these last few months- it has gone very VERY quickly and I am very excited for the future. 

The baby is stirring.....off I go! 

Time Flies

Abigail is already creeping up to a month old.... how is that even possible? Time is moving so incredibly fast. The days are being eaten up by cuddles and kisses (and uncontrollable crying and an endless number of poopy diapers) that they just seem to whiz by without me even being able to get basic stuff done (who needs clean clothes or dishes anyway?)

I understand that I will NEVER get these first few days and weeks with her again, so while I am exhausted, covered in spit up and frustrated because she just can't tell me what is wrong when she is crying I am enjoying this time.

Here are a few pictures of her because I know everyone wants to see her in all her cuteness!!

No Words

Since about 28 weeks or so I started obsessing about the birth- this little person had been growing safely inside me for about 7 months and it really started to dawn on me that she was going to have to come out....one way or another. Much to my husbands dismay I read many, many blogs on-line about "what to expect" for labor and delivery and post partum. There was going to be pain, there was going to be blood, there was going to be tears. I have learned that no matter how much you read, or ask your friends that have already been through it, nothing can really prepare you for the wild and incredible experience that bringing another human being into the world actually is.

Baby Abigail was due to enter the world on April 8th- my family was certain she would make her grand entrance on the 1st of April. March 31st was upon us and I was pretty sure they were all wrong since there were no signs of labor in sight. I went to bed at my normal 80 year old grandma time of 8:30 (hey...I had been nesting and I was 9 months pregnant....I was tired!) and I woke up at 2:30am (on April 1st) with my very first contraction. Yep, it hurt but it wasn't overwhelming but it was enough to get me up and walking around. It quickly past and back to bed I went.....

I had a previously scheduled appointment for the first of April so I went and got checked, sure enough my body was getting ready to have a baby! I was having contractions all day (nothing consistent and nothing too painful but they were definite contractions!)

Friday came and went, and I was up all night contracting.....I called Labor and Delivery, because that is the thing to do, right? And they said wait it out until they are consistent. Dangit! They weren't consistent but they were painful!!!

Sooo....fast forward to Saturday evening when the family came and brought us preggo pizza from Skippolini's. I was already tired because I had been in bed all day having pretty decent contractions. Well...as I was saying goodbye to them I had a serious contraction and my water broke! Off to the hospital we went.

Since I was not actively laboring yet, (even though I felt like I have been!) they gave me the option to go home and come back no more than 24 hours later (they don't want to risk infection) or when I started having consistent contractions or stay put and they would start inducing. I decided I would rather be comfortable at home, so we went back home. That didn't last long- around 2:30am my contractions had finally become consistent and pretty dang painful so we went BACK TO THE HOSPITAL and I was officially in "active labor". They gave me pain meds (no epi yet, at this point I thought I was going to hang tough) and we slept.

I labored all day Sunday (April 3rd) and finally that afternoon got my epidural.  When they gave it to me my heart rate dropped to a scary level low so I was really reluctant to press the little button that would continue to give me the medicine (those that know me, know that I don't do medicine/pills/ drugs very well) I didn't feel a lot of pain, but I felt a lot of pressure....TONS of PRESSURE....finally my husband talked me into pressing my  medicine button and managing my pain better.

It was now Monday (April 4th) morning and I was STILL LABORING...but it was getting close. The midwife came in and told me that the baby was much larger than they thought originally that the highway that the baby was to take to come into the world was small a c-section might be in order. It wasn't ideal but whatever needed to happen to get her out safely I was okay with.

At noon on Monday April 4th it was finally time to push. THANK GOD! Well I pushed, and pushed and pushed for almost 3 hours I pushed. Abigail was coming and I could feel her...I was also acutely aware of the room filling up with medical professionals and the nurses yelling at me telling me no more rests during pushes...just push. I was so exhausted and out of it, but I am good at following directions. I pushed. And I heard the nurse calling a code....and I panicked. There were so many people in my room in a matter of minutes I didn't really know what was happening. All of a sudden my baby was out....she was placed on my chest for a half a second and then swept away. I panicked again....asking my husband what was happening...He didn't know yet..but we heard her cry and eventually they called him over to cut the cord.
Turns out Abigail's shoulder was stuck on my pelvic bone on her way out and the cord was wrapped around her neck (if she hadn't been stuck that wouldn't have been a huge deal) they called a code for a doctor to come in and break my baby girls shoulder if they couldn't get her out. With Abigails resilience and my pushing she was able to get out without any breaking of bones.

I was exhausted and overwhelmed- but I was in love. In love with my husband that did not leave my side the entire time and with my beautiful baby girl, that took a big beating on the way out. But she is here and she is wonderful.

So, that's our story. It's a lot of words but none of them REALLY say exactly what happened- because no words can really express the feelings that you have when your baby enters the world.

Piece of cake anyone?

They say you can have anything in life, you will just have to sacrifice everything else to get it.

Do some people really "have it all?" A fit body, a thriving career, an awesome family life and a clean kitchen to boot? If you are one of those people....

PLEASE RAISE YOUR HAND....

and tell me how in the world you do it!?!?! I have come to realize that to fully go after something other things must be sacrificed. You want to be fit and healthy, maybe your social life might suffer because you can't go out with your friends as much. You want an amazing career? Maybe your relationship with your spouse might suffer because you are always working (or the brain is always on your work) You want something bad enough and you put your whole head and heart into it...other things are bound to suffer.....right?

I want to prove "them" wrong. I do want it all. And I don't want to have to give anything up.  We were meant to have our cake and EAT IT TOO (because DUH....what good is cake if we can't eat it!?)  I have been reading the good Book lately and it tells me to have God like dreams...I trust that He will lead me to where I need to be, and whatever trials, challenges, and speed bumps I run into on my way I will overcome. I know it. I feel it.



So, I guess this comes around again to having anything you want in this life, and I say, go for everything  (not just ANYTHING) with your whole heart. Don't give anything up, and certainly don't give in.



Let's do it together.